40 Days: Days 1-4

Immediate Family

Day 1 - Kim
Day 2 - Hannah
Day 3 - Noah
Day 4 - Elijah

     I have decided to go ahead and journal a brief summary of how my 40 day experience is going at a few points along the way. In most cases I'll probably be more vague about the specifics of what I'm doing and with whom but I'll start off sharing some more detail from my first 4 days which, in addition to things I'm doing to more faithfully connect with God, I have set aside to focus on my immediate family.

     Without rehashing some of the same things I've said before about my family in previous blog posts, I'll just make the blanket statement that I think my immediate family is AWESOME! They are seriously my favorite people on the planet to spend time with. There are different things I enjoy doing with each of them individually and together as a group more than any other individual or group of people. Rationally you would think that when given the choice I would almost always choose to spend time with them.

     Realistically, it doesn't always work out that way. I was going to list out a brief description of what a "typical day" (whatever that is) looks like, but just take my word for it, we're busy. If I get 1-2 hours of quality time together with everyone it's a good day. Sometimes it's the demands of my day, sometimes it's the demands of theirs, other times it's simply all of us too distracted by our own things to pay attention to one another.

     In fairness, we already do set aside some significant amounts of time to do things together as a family. Compared to some American families who might routinely spend absolutely no time together, even to eat a meal, we probably seem pretty noble in our efforts. It's also not as though our ideal is to reach a point in which all we ever do with our free time is spend time only with each other as a family completely isolated from the world. We value other relationships with extended family and friends greatly.

     What I think my immediate family would all agree on though is that our time together is so uniquely valuable compared to the time spent on other relationships and distractions, that it should hold a place of higher priority than the options we tend to choose on our own or allow to interrupt us because of someone else's priorities. Right now that's not happening.

     So in an effort to correct that I'm trying to be a little more proactive in carving out time that is set aside for my immediate family. In the past four days I have been specifically thinking about and praying for one family member each day according to the schedule I listed above. I have also been planning some special things to do with each of them individually and all of them as a group.

     On Saturday morning, Hannah and I went on a daddy and daughter "date" to a local kid's museum. Since it was just the two of us I made a conscious effort to talk more directly with her during the drive and play along with her at the exhibits. Then we went out for lunch at Chick-Fil-A and talked some more, and Hannah got to hug the big cow. It was all simple stuff that we've done many times before, but we both loved it and will have that experience as a great memory forever now.

     Later the same day, Noah and I took our inflatable boat and fishing gear out for an afternoon at the lake. He got to swim and chase ducks while I pumped up the boat and enjoyed watching him. A few minutes of rowing and we were away from the Labor Day weekend crowds that had filled the swimming and picnic area and in our own peaceful relaxing cove surrounded by birds, mountains and blue skies. After some unproductive fishing we rowed to the beach, went for a swim, then explored the island a little, scouting out some possible places to camp at some future time. When we got home Noah couldn't wait to tell mommy and Hannah about our adventure. I wouldn't trade those 2-3 hours with my son for anything.

     There is more I don't have time to share about doing things with Kim and Elijah and the whole family together over the past couple of days. There is only so much I can actually "do" with Elijah at this age, and Kim and I still have a hard time arranging someone to watch all our kids for us to have some time for just the two of us. Sometimes it's not as much a big event as just some moments to sit quietly together or talk about life. By removing some distractions, like Facebook, and just making a simple effort to pay attention to each other though it's been a great 4 days for me, and I hope all of us.

     Though these 4 days have been relatively easy and natural for me to do the things I already want to do for the people I love the most, I'm convicted by how I still have a bad habit of neglecting something so obvious. I decided to focus on my immediate family first primarily because of the priority God gives the immediate family in the Bible. In 1 Timothy 5:8 Paul says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 

     There is a clear connection between my faith and how I care for my family that I don't want to ignore, for both their sake and mine. As this 40 day journey continues for me, I want these first 4 days to be the start of some better habits in my home that will continue indefinitely. I also believe this includes my relationships with my extended family, so I will be thinking about, praying for and working on improving those relationships over the next 11 days.