My Great Family

     This past week I went on a family vacation that was filled with many significant moments and lessons, but two things stand out that I want to share with you. They both revolve around the different family relationships I have been blessed to experience.

     I have a great family! In this case, by "great" I mean large in number, and by "family" I mean the people I am associated with through Christ. I have many grandmas and grandpas, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and sons and daughters in my Christian family, some of whom I know well, but many more whom I've yet to meet but hope to see in eternity. I was reminded of this on vacation through one of the more random experiences I have ever had in meeting some new friends in faith.

     On our drive up to Shenandoah, VA Kim and I talked about camping trips with our families while growing up and how it was fun to meet and become friends with random people, even if just for a day or so. Well that actually happened to us within the 3 days and 2 nights we were there. Unbeknown to us a couple from Maryland with 2 kids arrived the same night and set up camp in almost the complete opposite side of the campground as us. That night though they had to deal with some unusually strong winds seeming to converge on their particular site and knocking over their tent. It was so bad that they actually had to move sites in the middle of the night, which caused them to come over to our side of the campground. It was actually pretty annoying to us to have all that noise and headlights shining our way when we were trying to sleep, and I thought to myself, "What is wrong with these people showing up and setting up their camp in the middle of the night?" :-)

     The next day Kim met one of our new neighbors, a woman named Molly with 2 young kids (not far from the ages of ours). It was brief and Kim mentioned something about it as we went out for a full day of Shenandoah fun times, and we didn't think much of it. Later in the afternoon we came back, took some naps, then went out to play some soccer with our kids in the field next to our tent. Molly and her 2 kids, Anika and Jonathan, came over asking if they could join us. After maybe 15 minutes of some soccer playing with the kids and Kim and Molly talking we all started figuring out that we had a lot in common, namely that we were both Christians serving in ministry.

     That night the Pastermack family invited us over for some S'mores and campfire time. We finally met the dad, Nick, and while the kids played together as though they were best friends, the adults had some great conversation about life and ministry and what God has been doing in each of our areas. Their family owns a store in Annapolis called Kilwin's which makes hand-made chocolates and other confections. What they are really passionate about is a home church style ministry they are leading to Midshipmen attending the US Naval Academy. If our kids had not needed to get to bed, we probably could have talked all night. We spent some time praying together, then all went our own ways, and both left the campground the next morning due to the bad weather coming our way.

     The whole experience was very unusual, yet very comfortable, and I think very encouraging to us both. Any onlooker might have guessed that we'd known each other for years and had planned to meet, but we only knew each other for a few hours. Yet in that few hours we grew pretty close and I would gladly welcome them into my home. The only thought that occurred to me about how something like this would be possible, which I shared in prayer with them, is that despite not knowing each other personally we share the same Spirit of God and therefore we can recognize each other as family. There is something about meeting other devoted Christians that eliminates the typical barriers and allows for an instant relationship that somehow goes beyond even some of the closest relationships you have created through the bonds of blood, experience and time.

     It calls to mind the passage in 1 Samuel 18 where it says "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as he loved himself." A lot of people don't understand what that can mean except to say they are "soul-mates," and since in our culture that is usually associated with an intimate sexual relationship, there is a popular idea now that David and Jonathan must have been homosexual and therefore homosexuality is OK (You know since everything else David did is OK for everyone to do. That was sarcasm by the way.). Why is it so hard for people to expect that two people of any gender can genuinely love one another in a deep and meaningful way that is not physical or sexual?

     I can say with complete heterosexuality, there have been several people I have met, men and women, young and old, that I feel like are my soul-mates because we have connected with each other spiritually in Christ, and I love those people very deeply without a thought of anything physical or sexual attached. They are to me family and if they called on me in a time of need I would do anything and everything I could to help them. I think about them and pray for them and even if I haven't seen or talked to them in years due to the various circumstances of life that have caused us to each go our own way. I now count the Pastermack family in that category, even though I have no expectation of seeing them again or having an opportunity to serve or be served by them again. Many others from my childhood, from college, from various churches I've attended or served, mission trip, conferences, conventions, and camps I participated in are my family in this same way. Even some people that have rubbed me the wrong way, offended me or those I love, or flat out hurt and angered me personally, I feel a close connection to when I know we have Christ in common. Again I can't fully explain it but I have experienced it many times.

     I have a great family! In this case, by "great" I mean of excellent quality and by "family" I mean my wife, Kim, and my kids, Hannah and Noah (though my extended family is pretty great too). I am reminded of this daily, but it becomes more obvious and beautiful to me on the rare occasions we actually get to spend several days in a row together non-stop. There are times when I have a hard time believing that God would have really prepared this family for me to enjoy. I'm not saying that I think Kim and Hannah and Noah exist only for my enjoyment, just that I'm the lucky one he chose for Kim to call husband, and Hannah and Noah to call father. I'm not speaking in vain humility to tell you that I'm not worthy of them. That much is probably obvious to most people already. They are to me the daily embodiment of God's grace, something wonderful and undeserved, given to me freely. Because of them I think people assume I am a better man than I really am.

     Before you start thinking I'm in some sort of a depression or talking spitefully about myself, you need to know that I say that to their credit, not my own detriment. I believe I am a good man, a good husband, and a good father. I work hard at being the best I can be for God and for them. I strive to make them proud of all I say and do to be a man of faith and integrity that they can depend on and follow as I follow Christ. I'm not one to boast, but I generally think I am doing well in living a God-honoring life and being richly blessed for it. When it comes to my family though I see clearly that I have been given more than I have earned. For that I can only be thankful and praise God.

     I suppose I should give you some examples of what I mean from our family vacation to make you jealous . . . um . . . I mean, enlightened about what I appreciate about my family. Kim never ceases to amaze me as a wife and mother. Before we even left, in a matter of a day or two she had somehow prepared and packed all our meals for the entire trip, washed and packed all our clothes, and basically made every little arrangement we would need, all while she was basically living as a single mom during 4 days straight of me having a variety of ministry commitments at both the church and in the community at different events.

     I sometimes give her a hard time for losing her patience, but she is incredibly patient and loving in dealing with me and our kids when we are annoying and ridiculous. I made up this absurd little one-word song which I taught the kids in which we say, "SHENNNNNN-AN-DOAHHHHHH" at random times. Not only did she allow it, she actually made up her own version when we left Shenandoah and were staying along the Blue Ridge Parkway. (Ask her to sing it for you sometime. :-D)

     Kim is the most enjoyable person I have ever known and there are not many days in which she doesn't make me laugh or smile because of who she is or what she says or does. Just to see her it is obvious she is full of life and love, and being around her everyday is an uplifting experience. I love this picture of her from our trip because I think it illustrates exactly what I'm talking about, someone who makes life fun for everyone.

     When you are with her life is brighter and better. I told her this on the trip but I know I don't say it enough to her or others, I love sharing life with Kim. I'm not sure of the whole idea people have that there is just this one person out there in the world that you are destined to spend your entire life with forever, but if it is true I have no doubt that Kim is my person. If I was given the hypothetical choice to spare just one person on the entire planet, while every other person was destroyed, sorry kids I'm picking mommy. :-) I'd probably never live that choice down, because it's not what she would want me to choose, but she'd still be my #1 choice. None of you can have her. She's all mine. God said so. :-)

     For the sake of time and a desire to eventually get some sleep, I'll say less than I can concerning my kids and how God has blessed me through them. Hannah is our intelligent little princess, by that I mean a beautiful "daughter of the King" (BTW- I'm not the King) not spoiled and pampered sissy girl who gets whatever she wants. Other than her mom, there is no one else on the planet who can melt my heart like she does, which is cute now, but will be dangerous later. I can see that she has such a strong desire to please us and be a strong leader, yet she is also very delicate and sensitive to criticism and failure. On our trip, during the time when we wandered through a big meadow (aptly named "Big Meadow") she was so excited to learn how a compass works and then took the initiative to guide us through the field calling out what direction we should go. Here she is leading us on:

     Later I tried to take over and force us in another direction than what she had in mind she was angry and maybe even a little hurt that maybe she had done something wrong that upset me. I felt like the biggest jerk on the planet to steal her joy in that moment for the sake of saving a few minutes from going the "wrong way". She is teaching me a lot about what it means to be a loving leader that guides gently but purposefully at a reasonable pace, rather than trying to be an up in front show off who no one can keep up with or a from the back cattle driver who pushes the herd forcefully without seeing the road ahead.

     Hannah has grown so much that she is obviously no longer the baby girl that needed us for everything, and is growing into quite the beautiful little woman. I know it's going to be hard for me to let go of her and allow her to make some wrong choices that she can learn from. I want to protect her from every hardship, even though I myself have experienced great growth and character from hardships. Even at her young age though I can see that she is a very sweet, thoughtful, and loving person. I could not be more proud of how she lives up to the name she was given from the Bible as a fervent prayer, who now goes beyond the simple prayers we taught her when she was younger and often thinks of friends and family in need without our prompting.

     Noah is our courageous little warrior, and is becoming as rambunctious and wildly energetic as any little boy we've known. Yet he too balances that with a sweet and humble attitude very content at times to be an obedient follower and just as capable of melting hearts (more often Kim's than mine.). He is a tough little guy, who tries new things, and seems not as afraid to fail, but also gets frustrated at times and has break downs when he is tired. At times he and Hannah will spend hours with her leading (or maybe commanding) and him saying "Yeah!" and going full speed ahead into anything she asks of him. Thankfully this has not yet turned into him doing her bidding and getting into trouble. I think the secret for Noah is he is willing to do almost anything when he knows he is not alone and has someone behind him. Here he is, on his first pony ride:

     A few times during the trip we saw what a brave little boy he is becoming. With the pony rides above, he wasn't quite as excited as Hannah was, but he was the most relaxed and comfortable with it, and he wasn't ready to be done when our time was up. We saw another man riding a bigger horse at full speed and Noah wanted to go faster and do much more than just walk around. Later in the trip he and Hannah were at the KOA campground trying to work up the courage to slide down the "fire pole" for the first time, and for a moment I thought he was going to step up and do it before she did. He did go down it eventually, so since he's younger I guess in a sense he did go down it before her. Time and time again though we are seeing Noah come out of his shell to do new things and do them passionately. To me I still see a lot of my baby boy in Noah, but he also is starting to become more of a little man, and I know this next year for him will bring a lot of new skills and growth as it did for Hannah. We are both very proud of Noah as well and he brings us great joy. I hope Noah will also live up to the name we gave him from the Bible, being passionately and bravely obedient knowing God is with him and no one can be against him.

     These are the people that God used this week to bring me rest and refreshment and a renewed passion to soar higher by digging deeper in all that God has prepared for us to do in the future. I am so thankful to have them in my life, helping me live life to the fullest.

     This blog has gone a little longer than I planned, but in a good way I think. Thank you to all of you who make up my great family. I am truly blessed by God to know you and thank Him for you often.



   "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:3-8